Come blame me...
Of the things you fail to
Understand
And read
To me
The things you do
I might find your wound
And heal you
With my
Blood.
My blood
So passionate
So thick
So flowing

Currently listening to: Ashengrace's Murrain
Currently feeling: bloodthirsty

Kung maghuhukay ka,

Siguraduhin mong kaya mo.

Kasi ayokong

Sinasampal sakin

Ang nakaraan na parang

Hindi kita

Ni minsang,

BINALAAN.

As much as i hate to admit it,

I still think about you.

Currently listening to: gloomy sunday

"keeping away from negative people, i am enjoying my life <3"

--that's how her facebook status reads...

and it doesn't take a genius to figure out that

she was referring to me.

after i've stared blankly at her face when she said

"hi"

i know it has got to be me.

and here is where i laugh:

baby, you don't have to lose sleep over that.

if you are really enjoying your life (insert: <3),

then you would know better than stop lingering on that dead stare.

and besides, this negativity,

it breathes life to this blog...

this negativity is me.

deal with it.

 

god,

anaesthesia is really out to get me.

i never thought post surgical depression

exists

until i've put together those pieces from 10 years ago when

i had my first surgery and months after that

when i found myself scribbling on the left-over

pages of my high school notebook

all those misery and cynicism only elizabeth wurtzel

can pull off.

the night after i went home from this surgery,

i found myself feeling sad about the hospital room

i left.

oh that small box...

that stench of uncertain chlorox...

that blood from my defective line

that has to be flushed by the nurse

from time to time 

and had me biting my lip in pain...

HELLO POTASSIUM I FORGOT HOW YOU FEEL LIKE...

....

and now when i think about it

and did some research ,

well, at least that's the only thing i suffered from...

the case can be worse...

like for some,

they fall head over heels for their

surgeon.

LOL. crazy.

the nearest, i think, that i've been to that

is me thinking one of the O.R.doctors

looks like Jake Cuenca...

...and he was the one who handed me my underwear back after the surgery...

now if i can lust over that,

i can celebrate my womanhood in full glory.

oh joy. 

Currently feeling: post surgical spasms